VULNERABILITY….the big V word not too many people like! If you were like me, that word probably scares the crap out of you if you keep it all the way real with yourself! This word came bull-dozing into my life at the beginning of 2016 & I didn’t even realize it was something I was struggling with until God brought it up! One thing I love about this journey with Holyspirit is that we don’t have to get all introspective & try and find the things wrong with us that need fixing! Just live life with God & he will bring up whatever needs fixing! Holyspirit is the ULTIMATE Gardener! Have you ever thought about why God says he would send a COMFORTER when he was leaving the earth? Haha because he had EVERY intention to make us UN-COMFORTABLE!
“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may be with you for ever,” John 14:16 ASV
So, all of a sudden! God began speaking to me about how he wants me to start being vulnerable & to just trust him with my future! That includes my business, purpose, love life, ministry, the book I’m working on, my clothing line….EVERYTHING! I have learned to trust in God but this is on a whole entirely NEW level! What I began to realize is that I had allowed the disappointment of past experiences to gradually shut me down & make me view vulnerability as weakness! In all actuality, vulnerability is strength! I remember feeling VERY weak in my spirit & having a rough day a couple weeks ago; and sharing that with one of my friends! They said to me “You have permission to be weak” & that shook me up! By the end of our conversation I realized that I hadn’t given myself permission to be vulnerable & weak in a LONG time! I always had to fulfill certain roles since I was 9 years old (which is why I’m able to lead & run a business the way I do) but on the flip-side, it’s like I couldn’t FULLY breathe in my being! It was hard to even admit THAT when we were talking! I felt absolutely NAKED! I felt super emotional which I hate feeling; & that led to me feeling weak, which led right back to me feeling vulnerable! LORD OF THE ENTIRE DANCE! I was so through! Hahaha
We have to learn to lay our armor down & just let God be God in our lives! Sometimes, we can feel like we’re wrestling with his timing! I know for me, I’ve struggled with patience my ENTIRE life! I even came out of my mothers womb 2 months EARLY because I didn’t want to be in there anymore LOL! It’s a blessing because I get things done (promotions, etc) & it’s tough at times because I want GOD to getter done too & he’s DEFINITELY not that kind of person! LOLOL Stop wrestling with God and just trust his plans, purpose, & timing for your life!
Man, just think about it! THIS is the God who created EVERYTHING out of nothing! He saw chaos & spoke into it saying “Let there be light!” Whew that gives me chills! He created the heavens and the earth! He made us in his image and breathed life into us! God is the ULTIMATE designer and creator! He has already designed your success, your marriage, your children, your career, your ministry, and the list goes on & on! God, help us to lay our armor down & stop fighting with you concerning our future!
“I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11 GNT
ALLOW YOURSELF TO TRUST AGAIN
I personally know what it feels like to have a hard time trusting people! I’ve been in friendships & relationships where I let people in on ALL of who I was & they didn’t cover me & I felt completely exposed! Love is a risk! Trust is a risk! Vulnerability is a risk! You are saying “HERE I AM! I’m TRUSTING you to see me! Every part of me! The good, the bad, the beautiful, & the ugly! I’m trusting you to cover me while I feel so naked & weak! I’m trusting you to see me, on my bad days, and not run out of me!” I get it and let me tell you! This is NOT easy at first but I believe vulnerability is a choice; & everyday, you have to make a decision to get naked, take a risk, & trust that God has the right people in your life who will do just what I said above! I think it’s interesting that even in the garden of Eden, Adam & Eve were NAKED AND UNASHAMED! Wow!
“The man and the woman were both naked, but they were not embarrassed.” Genesis 2:25 GNT
When you are in Gods will for your life & in his presence, you can be naked & feel NO shame because HE is your covering! We have to remember that GOD is our covering! At the end of the day, you may take a risk opening up & revealing the most intimate parts of yourself emotionally, expecting that family member, friend, &/or lover to cover you; but ULTIMATELY we have to look to God to be our covering! That’s ORIGINALLY how God created us! It’s time for us to get naked & strip away all the shame of our past! You know when Adam & eve started feeling ashamed & uncovered is when they stepped out of Gods will & were disobedient to him! We don’t have to entertain fear in vulnerability because it’s in GODS original plan. One of his greatest core values is VULNERABILITY! Adam & Eve lived this out as a couple & we can too in friendships, relationships, & in marriage! It’s ESSENTIAL to our well-being as humans and children of God!
We have to ask God for DISCERNMENT especially concerning romantic relationships! Before you begin sharing ALL of who you are with that man or woman, ask God if it’s safe to be vulnerable with them! Being vulnerable with the wrong person, in the name of “getting to know someone,” can lead to shame. Vulnerability isn’t ONE-sided! Adam & Eve were naked TOGETHER! If you catch yourself being the ONLY one opening up after a period of time, ask God if you need to take a step back! He will give you wisdom!
1. Be NAKED (Vulnerable)
2. Not be ashamed about it (True Freedom)
The problem is some people think if people see their crap they won’t be as effective & as successful, and the list goes on! Who cares what PEOPLE think! I honestly believe people will gravitate towards the GOD in you even more because they are looking for someone to give them permission to unpack & breathe. They are looking for that person to tell them “I see you & I’m not going anywhere! I’m still here!”
I remember in the movie avatar one of their famous lines was “I SEE YOU.”
Release yourself from the fear of being known and seen! Who you are is beautiful & you have to remember that you are more than enough! Know that the right man/woman, friends, co-workers, family members, whomever, will SEE you & love you for YOU!
So, I encourage you to take the risk! Before you leave this page, answer these questions:
•Do I have a hard time being vulnerable with myself & others in my life?
•What happened in my life that caused me to want to shut down & not trust easily?
•What action steps can I take towards being free in who I am?
Say this prayer out loud if you need help in this area:
God, I come to you right now asking that you help me to be completely free in who I am! Help me to pinpoint experiences in my life that have contributed to me having issues with vulnerability; & please come heal those wounds! If I have opened up to the wrong people, which has left me feeling shameful & exposed, please cover me & let me feel your presence! I declare FREEDOM & SECURITY within my mind & spirit! I come against every attack in my identity & I thank you that I know who I am! Thank you for sending people into my life who will love & cover me beyond my flaws; & removing the wrong ones! Thank you for helping me see the beauty in being vulnerable & giving me persmission to TRUST again! In the name of Jesus, Amen!
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