Overcoming The Fear Of VULNERABILITY 

VULNERABILITY….the big V word not too many people like! If you were like me, that word probably scares the crap out of you if you keep it all the way real with yourself! This word came bull-dozing into my life at the beginning of 2016 & I didn’t even realize it was something I was struggling with until God brought it up! One thing I love about this journey with Holyspirit is that we don’t have to get all introspective & try and find the things wrong with us that need fixing! Just live life with God & he will bring up whatever needs fixing! Holyspirit is the ULTIMATE Gardener! Have you ever thought about why God says he would send a COMFORTER when he was leaving the earth? Haha because he had EVERY intention to make us UN-COMFORTABLE! 

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may be with you for ever,” John‬ ‭14:16‬ ‭ASV‬‬

So, all of a sudden! God began speaking to me about how he wants me to start being vulnerable & to just trust him with my future! That includes my business, purpose, love life, ministry, the book I’m working on, my clothing line….EVERYTHING! I have learned to trust in God but this is on a whole entirely NEW level! What I began to realize is that I had allowed the disappointment of past experiences to gradually shut me down & make me view vulnerability as weakness! In all actuality, vulnerability is strength! I remember feeling VERY weak in my spirit & having a rough day a couple weeks ago; and sharing that with one of my friends! They said to me “You have permission to be weak” & that shook me up! By the end of our conversation I realized that I hadn’t given myself permission to be vulnerable & weak in a LONG time! I always had to fulfill certain roles since I was 9 years old (which is why I’m able to lead & run a business the way I do) but on the flip-side, it’s like I couldn’t FULLY breathe in my being! It was hard to even admit THAT when we were talking! I felt absolutely NAKED! I felt super emotional which I hate feeling; & that led to me feeling weak, which led right back to me feeling vulnerable! LORD OF THE ENTIRE DANCE! I was so through! Hahaha 


We have to learn to lay our armor down & just let God be God in our lives! Sometimes, we can feel like we’re wrestling with his timing! I know for me, I’ve struggled with patience my ENTIRE life! I even came out of my mothers womb 2 months EARLY because I didn’t want to be in there anymore LOL! It’s a blessing because I get things done (promotions, etc) & it’s tough at times because I want GOD to getter done too & he’s DEFINITELY not that kind of person! LOLOL Stop wrestling with God and just trust his plans, purpose, & timing for your life! 


Man, just think about it! THIS is the God who created EVERYTHING out of nothing! He saw chaos & spoke into it saying “Let there be light!” Whew that gives me chills! He created the heavens and the earth! He made us in his image and breathed life into us! God is the ULTIMATE designer and creator! He has already designed your success, your marriage, your children, your career, your ministry, and the list goes on & on! God, help us to lay our armor down & stop fighting with you concerning our future! 

“I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭GNT‬‬

  He, ALONE, knows the plans he has for us! The incredible thing is when HE knows, we don’t have to know anything! 


I personally know what it feels like to have a hard time trusting people! I’ve been in friendships & relationships where I let people in on ALL of who I was & they didn’t cover me & I felt completely exposed! Love is a risk! Trust is a risk! Vulnerability is a risk! You are saying “HERE I AM! I’m TRUSTING you to see me! Every part of me! The good, the bad, the beautiful, & the ugly! I’m trusting you to cover me while I feel so naked & weak! I’m trusting you to see me, on my bad days, and not run out of me!” I get it and let me tell you! This is NOT easy at first but I believe vulnerability is a choice; & everyday, you have to make a decision to get naked, take a risk, & trust that God has the right people in your life who will do just what I said above! I think it’s interesting that even in the garden of Eden, Adam & Eve were NAKED AND UNASHAMED! Wow! 

“The man and the woman were both naked, but they were not embarrassed.” Genesis‬ ‭2:25‬ ‭GNT 

When you are in Gods will for your life & in his presence, you can be naked & feel NO shame because HE is your covering! We have to remember that GOD is our covering! At the end of the day, you may take a risk opening up & revealing the most intimate parts of yourself emotionally, expecting that family member, friend, &/or  lover to cover you; but ULTIMATELY we have to look to God to be our covering! That’s ORIGINALLY how God created us! It’s time for us to get naked & strip away all the shame of our past! You know when Adam & eve started feeling ashamed & uncovered is when they stepped out of Gods will & were disobedient to him! We don’t have to entertain fear in vulnerability because it’s in GODS original plan. One of his greatest core values is VULNERABILITY! Adam & Eve lived this out as a couple & we can too in friendships, relationships, & in marriage! It’s ESSENTIAL to our well-being as humans and children of God! 

We have to ask God for DISCERNMENT especially concerning romantic relationships! Before you begin sharing ALL of who you are with that man or woman, ask God if it’s safe to be vulnerable with them! Being vulnerable with the wrong person, in the name of “getting to know someone,” can lead to shame. Vulnerability isn’t ONE-sided! Adam & Eve were naked TOGETHER! If you catch yourself being the ONLY one opening up after a period of time, ask God if you need to take a step back! He will give you wisdom! 

Two of the GREATEST things we can all learn is to:

1. Be NAKED (Vulnerable) 

2. Not be ashamed about it (True Freedom) 

The problem is some people think if people see their crap they won’t be as effective & as successful, and the list goes on! Who cares what PEOPLE think! I honestly believe people will gravitate towards the GOD in you even more because they are looking for someone to give them permission to unpack & breathe. They are looking for that person to tell them “I see you & I’m not going anywhere! I’m still here!” 

I remember in the movie avatar one of their famous lines was “I SEE YOU.” 

Release yourself from the fear of being known and seen! Who you are is beautiful & you have to remember that you are more than enough!  Know that the right man/woman, friends, co-workers, family members, whomever,  will SEE you & love you for YOU! 


So, I encourage you to take the risk! Before you leave this page, answer these questions: 

•Do I have a hard time being vulnerable with myself & others in my life? 

•What happened in my life that caused me to want to shut down & not trust easily? 

•What action steps can I take towards being free in who I am? 

Say this prayer out loud if you need help in this area: 

God, I come to you right now asking that you help me to be completely free in who I am! Help me to pinpoint experiences in my life that have contributed to me having issues with vulnerability; & please come heal those wounds! If I have opened up to the wrong people, which has left me feeling shameful & exposed, please cover me & let me feel your presence! I declare FREEDOM & SECURITY within my mind & spirit! I come against every attack in my identity & I thank you that I know who I am! Thank you for sending people into my life who will love & cover me beyond my flaws; & removing the wrong ones! Thank you for helping me see the beauty in being vulnerable & giving me persmission to TRUST again! In the name of Jesus, Amen! 

Thank you for reading! I appreciate & love you! Remember that you’re amazing!!!!!!




If this blog helped you, &/or spoke to your heart in ANY way, please share it & tag your friends/family! You can also go to my Facebook page & let me know &/or email me at bethestandard@aol.com  

Secret Tips on how I’ve become a TOP earner in my business 

A lot of people always ask me how I’ve reached the level of success i’m at in my business and here are some tips I want to give you: 
✅ I don’t wake up every morning asking myself how much MONEY I can make today! Money comes and goes & that isn’t the heart of the father! Material things is not what changes lives! I wake up every morning asking God “Whose life can I help change today?” & I ask him to send me & lead me to people who he wants me to help! 
That may look like me sharing my testimony on social media, signing up new loyal customers & business partners, mentoring someone, praying, getting on periscope, meeting people in public….whatever it looks like, I know I’m led by Holyspirit

  ✅I keep GOD at the center of it all! He is who makes my business grow! HE is the one who gives me power to make wealth! HE is the one one who gives me all these creative marketing & branding ideas! I make sure I stay very connected to him 
  ✅I don’t compare myself to anyone and I celebrate others! I realize my journey is MY journey! My success isn’t going to look like anyone else’s! I may take longer or I may go faster but that’s my journey God has called me to 
✅I constantly remind myself I HAVEN’T ARRIVED & I don’t know it all! And I don’t WANT to lol I am always looking for new ways to grow, learn from those who are where I want to be, & I surround myself with people who are moving & going somewhere! I stay humble because I remember where God has brought me from 
  ✅I live my life with INTEGRITY! Integrity & loyalty are SO important to me & have been since I was little! I can’t SLEEP at night if I know I’ve done someone wrong & God isn’t pleased with my behavior! I have never had to lie or cheat my way to the top! I’ve worked my butt off and done things RIGHT!! I’ve had so many times where I could’ve chosen MONEY over integrity & every time I have chosen integrity, God has blessed me like crazy! So this just flows into my business! 
✅I work with URGENCY! I like to GET ISH DONE!! I used to be a HUGE procrastinator & would always keep my dreams on hold! Now I don’t! I get stuff DONE & mark it off my checklist for the day!! Procrastination is the thief of opportunity! 
✅I make sure I stay balanced by not ALWAYS working! I’m still growing in this area though honestly! I’m like a workaholic and ALWAYS on my grind! It’s like I can’t help it lol I’m still asking God to help me live a BALANCED life because I love what he’s called me to; but it’s important to enjoy time with family, friends, and RELAX #HelpMeJesus lol 
✅I don’t STAY discouraged or down! Life happens to all of us! When I feel like I’m in a funk I #BeatTheFunk by putting myself into action, reading my bible & spending time with God, & speaking with those who are closest to me as accountability in my life and asking them to cover me in prayer! We have to TAKE COURAGE daily & stay focused! 
So there you have it! Those are some of the MAIN ways I’ve been able to grow to where I am; & I’m STILL learning how to rock at being me & living in my calling! I pray this helps you all!👑 #SuccessTipsWithAsh
Share this with someone who is trying to live their dreams*
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INSTAGRAM: imashelise 

PERISCOPE: imashelise 


The MOMENT you were created by God and placed in your mothers womb, you had a SEED of success within you! On the journey of success, it’s easy to compare your journey to others, doubt your dreams, & ask God “WHEN AM I GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL?” “WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN?” & The Lord is saying, YOUR SUCCESS HAS A DUE DATE!

When a woman gets pregnant, she KNOWS that the seed that’s within her will take time to grow into a mature baby; at LEAST 9 months worth! She doesn’t expect to have the baby the week or month after she gets pregnant!! She can FEEL the seed on the inside of her; but she can’t SEE it! If we know this ALL to be true, why do we then, while pursuing our dreams, expect to be millionaires the week or month after we make the decision to walk in our purpose! This generation wants everything INSTANTLY; but we have to remind each other that we can’t MICROWAVE God! Truth is, it takes TIME for your dreams to grow into what they were created to be! It takes TIME to become a millionaire! It takes TIME to grow your brand! It takes TIME to have the character & integrity to handle Gods blessings and favor in your life! It takes TIME to grow in intimacy with God! IT TAKES TIME!

I’ve been reading this verse all week and it has been changing my life so much!

“That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.” Romans 8:23-25

There are some KEY things to remember while you’re carrying your seed:
▪️You won’t be able to SEE & physically HOLD your promise until your due date! God has pre-written the due date for your success but you won’t ever encounter it if you abort your dreams
▪️When a woman is pregnant she has to think, not only for HERSELF, but for her baby! She has to change the way she eats, drinks, lives, etc… When you value what you carry, you will carry YOURSELF in such a way that prepares you for SUCCESS
▪️A woman (& her husband if there’s one) picks out the name and prepares for the baby’s arrival BEFORE it arrives. Are you preparing for the arrival of your success or just waiting for it to happen?
▪️The LONGER she waits, the LARGER She becomes, & the more JOYFUL her expectancy! Truth is, if you are working hard to live your dreams, it’s a PROCESS & you will have to WAIT! You should NOT be shrinking back in who you are & become depressed & sad as you wait! Your expectations should be JOYFUL! Change your perspective!
▪️God will prepare a team of people who are ready to help you when it’s time to deliver! The moment you begin to carry your seed and be aware of it, the WRONG people will begin dropping out of your life & the RIGHT ones will appear! God has pre-ordained a group of people to help you deliver your dreams! Have discernment and don’t be afraid to let go! Letting the wrong person help you deliver your dreams can cause major problems for you! Use wisdom & discernment

Keep carrying your dreams, walking in your purpose, & being patient! YOUR SUCCESS HAS A DUE DATE!

🌟Share this with someone who needs to read this!🌟

Be The Standard👑,
Ashlee Harris

Facebook: Ash Elisé
Email: bethestandard1@aol.com
Online store: bthestandard.bigcartel.com


This has been on my heart to share & I believe it will help bring healing to a lot of people like it’s done & doing for me!

If we all be honest, there have probably been a ton of people who have done things to us that may have hurt us; & because of us receiving the lie that we have to entertain &/or hold on to hurt, we then become AFRAID to love those people because we feel like they will hurt us again! In reality, accepting “hurt” is somewhat of a defense mechanism that LOOKS like it’s protecting us from ever being hurt/offended again, when in reality, holding onto hurt keeps us locked inside of a place that God NEVER intended for us to dwell in!

PERFECT LOVE casts out ALL fear! I want you to be honest with yourself and think about all of the people who you’ve ALLOWED to hurt you & who you’re afraid to love! If you need to forgive them and you haven’t, it’s MAINLY because you’re afraid to let down your guard and LOVE them again!

If you REALLY want to get free, get a piece of paper & write down all the people who you’ve allowed yourself to entertain the feelings of “hurt” offense & un-forgiveness with; & as you go through the list FORGIVE each person & say out loud “I AM NOT AFRAID TO LOVE YOU! I love you!”

Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to start talking with them everyday again lol; or even start talking with them AT ALL lol & there may be some people on that list that God tells you to CALL & forgive; & just DO IT! Ask Holyspirit how HE wants you to deal with this:)

There are 3 things I’ve learned from this passage that is posted in this picture from John 4:

1. PERFECT love casts out ALL fear
2. If you’re afraid to love someone, yourself, or even GOD it’s because you have a fear of punishment rooted there & you need a FULL experience of Gods perfect love❤️
3. We love EACH OTHER because GOD loved us first! You don’t need a reason to love people, love them because GOD chose to love YOU first! Give yourself permission to be free and love!😊

If this post has helped you and you need more prayer, please email me at bethestandard1@aol.com! I’d love to pray for you concerning learning this lesson on how to love

Think about it ya’ll, God IS love! He could’ve chose to be anything else; but he chose to be LOVE! The enemy doesn’t want us to LOVE because when we truly begin to love, we will be like Jesus in this earth! The more we learn to love, the more God sees himself in us! The more God sees himself in us, the more heaven will invade this earth!!! I love you all!!! I pray this has blessed you as much as it has blessed me!!! I challenge you to LOVE!!!

I LOVE you!

Be the standard👑,

Ashlee Harris👑
Facebook: Ash Elisé
Email: bethestandard1@aol.com
Online Store: http://bthestandard.bigcartel.com

🌟Share this post with someone who needs to read it & post on your social media pages! Let’s challenge ourselves to LOVE! Let’s start a revolution of Gods love in this earth!!! When you post tag me, & hashtag #JoinTheLoveChallenge🌟


As a full-time entrepreneur, I’ve learned the importance of dreaming while you’re awake! There are so many people who dream BIG dreams but don’t know how to turn them into amazing REALITIES! They are “Sleeping” on their dreams, creative ideas, & purpose; not knowing that if they just “WAKE UP” their entire life will change for the better! I’ve ALSO learned that there are 3 TYPES of people who can hinder you from living your dreams if you give them the POWER to! In this blog, I will share who those 3 types of people are & some tips on how to DREAM INTO YOUR PROMISES! I pray that as you read this, you are inspired, motivated, & that you awaken to all that God has planned for you in your life!


Truth is, the very SECOND you make the decision to madly PURSUE & live your dreams, you are agreeing to start a journey to becoming the BEST you! You WILL face opposition, rejection, & see people for who they really are! Heck, you will begin to see YOURSELF for who you really are! These are DEFINING MOMENTS! I like to think of a DEFINING MOMENT as this: A moment that has the capability of discouraging &/or distracting you from your purpose; OR this moment can PUSH you even deeper into who you are called to be! You are DEFINED in these moments by how you ▪️THINK ▪️RESPOND ▪️& from what you LEARN from it!

I remember a DEFINING MOMENT for me (and I’ve had MANY since I’ve launched my business) was last year when I planned to host a big wrap party! For those of you who don’t know, in my business, I host a lot of parties & help people live healthier lives & become financially free! Last year, there was a period, of about a month or so, where I wasn’t having much success with wrap parties! I remember during that time, at one point, I drove an hour and a HALF away to someone’s house to host one and only TWO people came and one of those people was the HOST! Then I had another party after that that wasn’t THAT successful either! THEN, I said to myself “Ok, I’m just going to do my OWN event & throw my own party & invite people!” I remember I was low on money because I wasn’t as successful as I am now & I was still BUILDING my business! I made the sacrifice though! I had this amazing idea to do a trunk sale/wrap party! I bought a TON of food, set up everything super nice, and was looking good lol A lot of people said they were coming so I was super excited despite that during this period in my life, parties were NOT successful for me! Well, NO ONE showed up to the wrap party! When I say NO ONE, I mean NO ONE!!! LOL I can laugh about it now because I’ve overcome! After about an hour of no one showing up, I laughed & said “Well, no one is coming so let’s eat & enjoy the day!” In that moment, I was DEFINED! RIGHT after I said that, God spoke to me & said, “CONGRATULATIONS!!! You passed the test! A FAILURE is only a failure if you don’t LEARN from it!” That was one of the most SUCCESSFUL days of my life because I learned what success was to God! It wasn’t about what you can see on the OUTSIDE, but how wealthy I was on the INSIDE! From that point on, I wasn’t really swayed by what people did or didn’t do! I learned the value of PERSEVERANCE & laughing when things don’t go as I’ve planned! That was a DEFINING MOMENT for me that has helped me to live my dreams even today!

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (‭Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭3-4‬ NIV)

*Take a moment to think about a defining moment you’ve had this year & whether you’ve learned from it or you’ve let it define you negatively! Write down how it defined you*

The 3 TYPES of people who can hinder you from living your dreams if you give them the POWER to!

OK, so now that we have covered DEFINING MOMENTS I want to explain the 3 types of people who can hinder your dreams if you give them the POWER to! I will provide SOLUTIONS after describing each type! When you come in contact with one of these three people, remember to let your experience with them define you POSITIVELY and not negatively! You will have MANY DEFINING MOMENTS when encountering these people that will help you begin to DREAM yourself into the promises God has for you!


Dream THIEVES try & copy everything you do &/or steal your dreams & ideas from you because they don’t know who THEY are in God. They are VALIDATED by attention & will do whatever they can to feed that void! If you pay attention to them for too long, you will become frustrated, & that frustration WILL hinder your movement. The GOAL is to not even pay attention to them AT ALL! Lol Please realize that imitation is the highest form of flattery! If you see all kinds of people imitating who you are & what you do without ever giving you credit, that’s one of the BIGGEST compliments you can ever receive!

What’s the solution when dealing with a dream THIEF: Remember, they may be able to copy your IDEAS, but they can never copy your ANOINTING! God has anointed each and every one of us DIFFERENTLY! We may have the same ideas but when it comes down to it, YOU can’t do it like anyone else can & THEY can’t do it quite like you can, because the ANOINTING makes the distinction!


DREAM DOUBTERS are a little tricky to identify because they often times look like those CLOSEST to us! For example, they can be a family member, friend, &/or someone you look up to! When you begin to REALIZE the potential of your God-given dream you get SUPER excited about it & can’t help but start telling those who are CLOSEST to you!!! ALWAYS pray about whom you share your dreams with! Even those closest to you can secretly be hating you! (P.s. I’m NOT into glorifying “HATERS;” But what I AM into is WISDOM!)

Take my homie Joseph for instance:

“Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more.” (‭Genesis‬ ‭37‬:‭5‬ NIV)

A dream DOUBTER has the potential to hinder you from living your dreams if you give them the power to! They don’t like you! Flat out! But they ACT like they do because they are driven by DOUBT & JEALOUSY! They don’t have the courage to live THEIR dreams so when you come along & share YOURS with them, they doubt them! They can never FULLY be happy for you! Secretly, they think what you’re planning to do is absolutely CRAZY, but deep down, they wish they had the courage to do it too! Listening to & taking advice from a DREAM DOUBTER will cause you to begin to doubt your dreams & slow your momentum down!

What’s the solution when dealing with a dream DOUBTER: STOP SHARING YOUR DREAMS WITH EVERYONE & disconnect from those dream doubters no matter how hard it is! Give yourself permission to ONLY surround yourself in your inner circle with peace & with those who FULLY believe in your dreams! Don’t doubt who God has called you to be!


Dream KILLERS are just flat out driven by ▪️Insecurity ▪️Jealousy & ▪️Hate & they do NOT want you to live your dreams!!!

“Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.” (‭Genesis‬ ‭37:19-20‬ NIV)

Dream killers are just miserable people who don’t know how to celebrate other people! They are USUALLY intimidated by the greatness that God has placed inside of you! They feel like if YOU live your dreams, you will become GREATER than who they are, & that scares the MESS out of them! They don’t realize that greatness comes by SERVING & helping other people become GREAT! They will do anything & everything they can to stop you from dreaming BIG & living in your promises! Truth is, these types of people will constantly show up on your journey & you will never get rid of them! As long as you’re living your dreams, you WILL encounter one! Lol

Here’s the solution to dealing with a dream KILLER:

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (‭Luke‬ ‭6‬:‭27-28‬ NIV)

As Danny Silk says, “KEEP YOUR LOVE ON!”

God prepares a FEAST for you in the presence of your enemies! I’ve learned, and am still learning, to be glad when my enemies start gathering around! That just means that God is preparing my FEAST & it’s about to be GOOOOOD!!!!

I want to close with this! I asked my good friend Marcus McCauley, who also happens to be an AMAZING & successful entrepreneur, & is ROCKING it in the music industry, to share on “DREAMS!”

You can connect with him on Facebook under the name:
Marcus McCauley
& follow him on Instagram:

As you read these words, soak them all in & be ENCOURAGED!!!

“What are dreams made of? As children, we all had aspirations to be somebody or to change the world. As you grow intellectually and physically, you may have slowly realized that those dreams may not be your reality. The woes of life may have slowed you down &/or just made you feel like your dreams will NEVER come true. So the question still stands, “What are dreams made of?”

Dreams are made of optimism, determination, creativity, innovation, endurance, and most importantly, FAITH IN GOD. In the world of entrepreneurship, you’re embarking on a lonely, but fulfilling, road. Now, let’s not get into the “Hater syndrome.” People always voice that they’re lonely or can’t surround themselves with people because they are hating on their entrepreneurship endeavors. Haters and nay sayers are a given in life. Get over it, once you get delivered from people you are on the right track.

Don’t mistake haters for constructive criticism. Some people’s intentions may be good, and others may not. YOU choose what to internalize and what to throw away. If it helps you, keep it. If it discourages you, throw it away. Yes, easier said then done; but you will have so much freedom and a clear mind to proceed in your entrepreneurial journey.

Don’t ever compare your journey to others. Always keep your goals and dreams close to your heart. Enjoy the journey, work hard, stay positive, and roll with the punches!!! Never give up and let God lead the way!!!

-Marcus McCauley

You are worth it!

NEVER stop dreaming,

Ashlee Harris👑
Facebook: Ash Elisé
Email: bethestandard1@aol.com
Online Store: http://bthestandard.bigcartel.com

Holiness OVER Horniness


When I was 16 years old I began dating a guy who I REALLY liked! He was FINE, smelled good, on the basketball team, & was even a Christian! I thought I had hit the jackpot! lol We dated for 8 months & did EVERYTHING sexual except have actual intercourse! (Which is CRAZY because I told him before we started dating that I was a virgin and wasn’t having intercourse until I was married!) The more time went on, the more I walked away from God in my dedication to him! Before dating this guy, I would spend HOURS in Gods presence reading my bible, writing worship songs & sermons, & growing with him!
After dating for 8 months, this guy I was so in “love” with told me that he loved me, but he couldn’t stay with me any more unless we had sex because he couldn’t take it anymore! At first I was like well BYE! Lol Then because of my emotions and my LACK OF GOD & ,a strong relationship with my father, I caved in! It was on a Saturday! I told my mom I was going to the library but in reality, I was going to meet my then boyfriend at the library to go and have sex! I didn’t know my worth SO much so… I ended up settling for having sex for the very first time on the ground behind a building on top of coat jackets! I could feel Gods sadness as I proceeded with it all too! A few months later, after going down a VERY wrong path of lust filled with porn, masturbation, & tons of sex with my then boyfriend; God totally changed my life through a series of events!
Since then, I’ve NEVER been the same nor had sex again! I’ve been celibate for 9 years now!! I haven’t dated a man in a few years either! Some people ask me WHY haven’t you had sex in that long? WHY haven’t you been in a relationship in a few years? I am happy with my relationship with God & with the journey he has me on! He has taught me how to guard my heart & to get ALL of my voids filled by HIM alone! I don’t have an urge to watch porn, masturbate, and/or have sex! I don’t have an urge to date men just because I’m alone and everyone else around me is getting in relationships & married! God & I are ROCK SOLID!! So when The Lord spoke to me to create this shirt for my clothing line, I was like say what now? Lol but I remembered MY testimony & knew I HAD to do it! I’m not the only one with a testimony of fornication to purity! Slavery in sin to freedom in Christ! So when you wear this shirt with me, remember where God has brought YOU from &, DAILY, keep choosing HOLINESS over HORNINESS!!! ‪#‎BeTheStandard‬

God, help me to be the standard in my own life! Help me to be who you’ve created me to be and to not live my life based on my emotions and my flesh! I honor you with my life and my body papa God!! I thank you for helping me to stay pure and live a life that honors you!!! I choose HOLINESS in every situation and I love you!! Amen

Click here to order a Holiness OVER horniness shirt!

Hidden FOR love


“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.” (Proverbs 25:2 NIV)

Have you ever been on a “TREASURE HUNT?” A treasure hunt is one of many different types of games which can have one or more players who try to find hidden articles, locations or places by using a series of clues. When I was younger, I loved playing this game because I knew that the person hiding the articles weren’t hiding them FROM me, they were hiding them FOR me to find! If you and I just be completely honest, I can almost guarantee you that we’ve BOTH had times when we were SINGLE and looking at all of the people in relationships, engaged, or married, wondering, “God!! WHEN is it going to be MY turn?” I’ll be honest and say that I have TOTALLY had those thoughts before!! On days like Valentine’s Day and during the holidays, being single is made CRYSTAL CLEAR!! LOL In this blog, i’m going to give you!! 3 reasons why, I believe, God hides love FOR us! I know it can be tough sometimes to not compare your LACK of a love life to someone else’s or to not question God concerning your heart, so that’s why I wrote this blog just for you!! I wrote it as a reminder that if you could take a journey into your future, you would SOON realize that God was never hiding love and romance FROM you, he was hiding it FOR you!! He was protecting you and your purity & helping you properly guard your heart above all things!! So relax because YOU, my dear, are being hidden FOR love!!

Reason ONE:We have to learn to love ourselves as God loves us first

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” (Mark 12:30, 31 NLT)

It’s SO important for us to love ourselves!

When you DON’T love yourself, you attract people who don’t love themselves either into your life. God values our hearts. Before we can try learning someone else’s heart and how to love THEM, we have to learn OUR own heart and how to love ourselves how God loves US! No, we don’t have to be perfect when we get married but we should, at least, know how to love ourselves! I do believe marriage is a life long lesson of learning to love; but if we still have tons of trust issues, insecurities, & don’t have an intimate relationship with God in the BEGINNING, that will effect our relationship and marriage in the LONGRUN!

“Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way:” (Lamentations 3:31-33 MSG)

During my teenage years, I didn’t know how to really love myself as God does! I was trying to find love in empty promises, sex, masturbation, wrong friends, secular music, and anything else that unhealthily filled my voids. After breaking up with my boyfriend in high-school, I became that person who was ALWAYS like, “UGH God!!! WHY AM I ALWAYS SINGLE?” I literally felt like God was punishing me for years and I would cry and get SOOOO angry with him; and with just life in general because I couldn’t understand why I was STILL single! I couldn’t understand why I didn’t have the luxury of having a significant other like everyone else because I was truly living for God and WITH him! I was reading my bible every chance I could get, I LOVED spending HOURS with him, I was writing songs to him, stopped hanging with the wrong people, was leading worship at my school, was preaching here and there, was prophesying to my classmates, and being super used by God…. WHY THE HECK WAS I STILL SINGLE?!? haha I’m laughing writing that because it’s so funny how we think that because we DO things for God, he HAS to do what we say and give us the desires of our heart IMMEDIATELY!!! Welp, I learned that’s NOT how it goes!! God was not punishing me! He doesn’t delight in making our lives hard! God wasn’t hiding love FROM me, he was hiding it FOR me! I was NOT ready to be in a romantic relationship and GOD knew that! What I REALLY needed was the love of GOD to completely fill my heart and every void, not a relationship! Have you ever gotten into a relationship and after a few months, it starts to go way left and you don’t even know why? That’s probably because you are trying to get the needs, only GOD can meet, met by that person!

I truly believe that God anoints our husband/wife to love us specifically how we NEED to be loved! I know for me, the blessed man whom God has chosen to love me has to be REALLY anointed and special lol I know a lot of times, if I would’ve just listened to the holyspirit and not entered into that void-filling relationship, I would’ve saved myself a WHOLE bunch of hurt, rejection, bitterness, trust issues, and all that jazz! Maybe you are single because God is protecting you from a bad situation! The amazing thing about papa God is that he can see WAY down the road of our lives! He IS the beginning and the end! He knows the day we’re going to get in that relationship with the man/woman of our dreams because he WROTE it lol and he knows the time and day when we are going to marry them! Focus on learning to love yourself FIRST and let God completely fill you up before trying to learn to love your “neighbor.” Go after God with no distractions and before you know it, your significant other will be seeking God with all of their heart right beside you!

Reason TWO: It’s just not time

One of my FAVORITE verses that has really helped me to rest in God concerning my love life is:

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” (Song of Songs 2:7 NLT)

I LOVE that verse because there have been so many times in my life where I THOUGHT I was ready to awaken my love with someone by getting into a romantic relationship with them and the holyspirit was like, ” Uhhh NO! Pump the brakes boo!!” LOL I like to think of awakening love before it’s time like this:

Imagine that you’ve prepared to bake a cake! You’ve mixed the ingredients together, poured it into the cake pan, and placed it in the oven. A person who is trying to awaken love before it’s time is like taking an un-baked cake out of the oven before it’s finished cooking! Eating that cake before it’s done cooking could possibly make you sick and it could just be flat out DISGUSTING! I don’t know about ya’ll but I’ve awakened love before it’s time PLENTY of times and It ALWAYS ended up DISGUISTING and making my emotions sick! OH but baby when you let that cake cook…how GOOD and delicious is THAT?!?!!! It’s SO enjoyable and yummy!! Just like our love lives will be!!

You have to know that YOU ARE ENOUGH!! I know for me, I used to struggle with thoughts such as, “Am I not in a relationship because I’m ugly? or fat?” “What can I change in my appearance that will make guys more attracted to me because it seems like NO ONE wants to be with me?” Often times, God keeps you covered so the WRONG people can’t get to you! He shields you from future hurt! He protects you from a hot mess situation you can’t see forming in the beginning! You ARE enough! ALWAYS be completely yourself so that the person God has for you can fall in love with the REAL you! The imperfect you! The you that’s still growing!! Just rememember, it’s not necessarily about if you’re doing something wrong or not, it’s probably just NOT the right time for you to be in a romantic relationship and married! The time WILL come though! So enjoy this single seaon of your life!! Stay strong and rooted in God!

Reason THREE: Your perspective concerning love may be tainted & need deep inner healing

When I was flying back home from Texas last week, I was amazed by how much smaller things seemed to look the higher we climbed!! My perspective of how BIG things were changed in just a few minutes time! I realized that where I was PHYSICALLY had a lot to do with my perspective concerning things! Where we are in our lives emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually directly affect our perspective in our lives! LADIES, if your father wasn’t really there for you in your life and/or knew how to love you, your family, and/or your mom properly, you have a good chance of growing up with the perspective that whatever man you court/marry is going to be the same way; and you will actually end up accepting that reality, no matter how much you don’t want to, until God truly becomes your father and shows you what true love is. FELLAS, if you have a mom who may have given you up for adoption, or just flat out didn’t really care about having a relationship with you when you were younger, and didn’t really care about you; there’s a good chance that you’ve built up walls by now towards all women and believe that the woman whom you court/marry won’t really care about you, will leave you, and that she cannot be fully trusted.

Think about it, why would God bring you your husband/wife if you don’t even fully BELIEVE that person can be trusted completely? Or maybe it’s the fact that God knows you have a problem with your anger and the moment you and your boo have your first disagreement, you will flip ALL the way out…so he’s taking the time to teach you how to work through that! Or maybe its the fact that you don’t properly know how to guard your heart and protect your purity! Or MAYBE, even though you ACT confident, you are extremely insecure and you don’t even feel like you deserve Gods best so you date to fill those voids! Whatever the case may be, GOD knows when we’re ready! HE knows whether we need deep inner healing or not before we get into a relationship with our mates! HE knows whether our perspective on love is tainted! The bottom line is that HE KNOWS and we just really don’t lol Once you come to the conclusion that HE knows and you don’t, your life will get even better!!

My perspective concerning love used to be tainted by hurt, bitterness, doubt, and insecurity until God really began to heal my heart and place people in my life who were really good at loving me! God EVEN placed a couple men in my life to teach me how to love! NO, they were not placed in my life for me to date or marry them, but they were placed there for me to learn to trust again and to know that every man isn’t out to treat me like crap and/or have sex with me. Maybe that relationship you’re in isn’t working out because God didn’t bring them in your life for you to fall in love with them…. he brought them in your life to teach you what the love of God looks like with no hidden agendas! There ARE good men and women out there ya’ll! Ask God to give you fresh and new perspective concerning love! Ask him to teach you what love looks like! He LOVES showing us what his love looks like!!

Prayer (Feel free to pray this out loud):

God, I thank you for your love! Thank you that through you, I AM ENOUGH! I thank you for helping me realize that being single is not a punishment but a beautiful season of my life that I should be enjoying! Thank you for not hiding love FROM me but FOR me! Thank you for helping me protect my heart, body, spirit, and mind from things I may not be able to see, but that YOU see because you are the beginning and the end! Thank you for helping me to trust in YOUR timing! You know what you are doing and I release myself from the unknown! I put all of my faith and trust in you concerning my love life from this point on! I will not compare my love life with anyone else’s, I will not wish I were someone else, and I will not hate on anyone else’s happiness! I rejoice for those who are happily in romantic relationships and married!! Thank you for writing my love story God! Help me to continue trusting you! In Jesus name, Amen!!

Remember, Gods not punishing you! He’s not hiding love and romance FROM you, he’s hiding it FOR you <3

Be The Standard,

Ashlee Harris


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