“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.” (Proverbs 25:2 NIV)
Have you ever been on a “TREASURE HUNT?” A treasure hunt is one of many different types of games which can have one or more players who try to find hidden articles, locations or places by using a series of clues. When I was younger, I loved playing this game because I knew that the person hiding the articles weren’t hiding them FROM me, they were hiding them FOR me to find! If you and I just be completely honest, I can almost guarantee you that we’ve BOTH had times when we were SINGLE and looking at all of the people in relationships, engaged, or married, wondering, “God!! WHEN is it going to be MY turn?” I’ll be honest and say that I have TOTALLY had those thoughts before!! On days like Valentine’s Day and during the holidays, being single is made CRYSTAL CLEAR!! LOL In this blog, i’m going to give you!! 3 reasons why, I believe, God hides love FOR us! I know it can be tough sometimes to not compare your LACK of a love life to someone else’s or to not question God concerning your heart, so that’s why I wrote this blog just for you!! I wrote it as a reminder that if you could take a journey into your future, you would SOON realize that God was never hiding love and romance FROM you, he was hiding it FOR you!! He was protecting you and your purity & helping you properly guard your heart above all things!! So relax because YOU, my dear, are being hidden FOR love!!
Reason ONE:We have to learn to love ourselves as God loves us first
“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” (Mark 12:30, 31 NLT)
It’s SO important for us to love ourselves!
When you DON’T love yourself, you attract people who don’t love themselves either into your life. God values our hearts. Before we can try learning someone else’s heart and how to love THEM, we have to learn OUR own heart and how to love ourselves how God loves US! No, we don’t have to be perfect when we get married but we should, at least, know how to love ourselves! I do believe marriage is a life long lesson of learning to love; but if we still have tons of trust issues, insecurities, & don’t have an intimate relationship with God in the BEGINNING, that will effect our relationship and marriage in the LONGRUN!
“Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way:” (Lamentations 3:31-33 MSG)
During my teenage years, I didn’t know how to really love myself as God does! I was trying to find love in empty promises, sex, masturbation, wrong friends, secular music, and anything else that unhealthily filled my voids. After breaking up with my boyfriend in high-school, I became that person who was ALWAYS like, “UGH God!!! WHY AM I ALWAYS SINGLE?” I literally felt like God was punishing me for years and I would cry and get SOOOO angry with him; and with just life in general because I couldn’t understand why I was STILL single! I couldn’t understand why I didn’t have the luxury of having a significant other like everyone else because I was truly living for God and WITH him! I was reading my bible every chance I could get, I LOVED spending HOURS with him, I was writing songs to him, stopped hanging with the wrong people, was leading worship at my school, was preaching here and there, was prophesying to my classmates, and being super used by God…. WHY THE HECK WAS I STILL SINGLE?!? haha I’m laughing writing that because it’s so funny how we think that because we DO things for God, he HAS to do what we say and give us the desires of our heart IMMEDIATELY!!! Welp, I learned that’s NOT how it goes!! God was not punishing me! He doesn’t delight in making our lives hard! God wasn’t hiding love FROM me, he was hiding it FOR me! I was NOT ready to be in a romantic relationship and GOD knew that! What I REALLY needed was the love of GOD to completely fill my heart and every void, not a relationship! Have you ever gotten into a relationship and after a few months, it starts to go way left and you don’t even know why? That’s probably because you are trying to get the needs, only GOD can meet, met by that person!
I truly believe that God anoints our husband/wife to love us specifically how we NEED to be loved! I know for me, the blessed man whom God has chosen to love me has to be REALLY anointed and special lol I know a lot of times, if I would’ve just listened to the holyspirit and not entered into that void-filling relationship, I would’ve saved myself a WHOLE bunch of hurt, rejection, bitterness, trust issues, and all that jazz! Maybe you are single because God is protecting you from a bad situation! The amazing thing about papa God is that he can see WAY down the road of our lives! He IS the beginning and the end! He knows the day we’re going to get in that relationship with the man/woman of our dreams because he WROTE it lol and he knows the time and day when we are going to marry them! Focus on learning to love yourself FIRST and let God completely fill you up before trying to learn to love your “neighbor.” Go after God with no distractions and before you know it, your significant other will be seeking God with all of their heart right beside you!
Reason TWO: It’s just not time
One of my FAVORITE verses that has really helped me to rest in God concerning my love life is:
“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” (Song of Songs 2:7 NLT)
I LOVE that verse because there have been so many times in my life where I THOUGHT I was ready to awaken my love with someone by getting into a romantic relationship with them and the holyspirit was like, ” Uhhh NO! Pump the brakes boo!!” LOL I like to think of awakening love before it’s time like this:
Imagine that you’ve prepared to bake a cake! You’ve mixed the ingredients together, poured it into the cake pan, and placed it in the oven. A person who is trying to awaken love before it’s time is like taking an un-baked cake out of the oven before it’s finished cooking! Eating that cake before it’s done cooking could possibly make you sick and it could just be flat out DISGUSTING! I don’t know about ya’ll but I’ve awakened love before it’s time PLENTY of times and It ALWAYS ended up DISGUISTING and making my emotions sick! OH but baby when you let that cake cook…how GOOD and delicious is THAT?!?!!! It’s SO enjoyable and yummy!! Just like our love lives will be!!
You have to know that YOU ARE ENOUGH!! I know for me, I used to struggle with thoughts such as, “Am I not in a relationship because I’m ugly? or fat?” “What can I change in my appearance that will make guys more attracted to me because it seems like NO ONE wants to be with me?” Often times, God keeps you covered so the WRONG people can’t get to you! He shields you from future hurt! He protects you from a hot mess situation you can’t see forming in the beginning! You ARE enough! ALWAYS be completely yourself so that the person God has for you can fall in love with the REAL you! The imperfect you! The you that’s still growing!! Just rememember, it’s not necessarily about if you’re doing something wrong or not, it’s probably just NOT the right time for you to be in a romantic relationship and married! The time WILL come though! So enjoy this single seaon of your life!! Stay strong and rooted in God!
Reason THREE: Your perspective concerning love may be tainted & need deep inner healing
When I was flying back home from Texas last week, I was amazed by how much smaller things seemed to look the higher we climbed!! My perspective of how BIG things were changed in just a few minutes time! I realized that where I was PHYSICALLY had a lot to do with my perspective concerning things! Where we are in our lives emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually directly affect our perspective in our lives! LADIES, if your father wasn’t really there for you in your life and/or knew how to love you, your family, and/or your mom properly, you have a good chance of growing up with the perspective that whatever man you court/marry is going to be the same way; and you will actually end up accepting that reality, no matter how much you don’t want to, until God truly becomes your father and shows you what true love is. FELLAS, if you have a mom who may have given you up for adoption, or just flat out didn’t really care about having a relationship with you when you were younger, and didn’t really care about you; there’s a good chance that you’ve built up walls by now towards all women and believe that the woman whom you court/marry won’t really care about you, will leave you, and that she cannot be fully trusted.
Think about it, why would God bring you your husband/wife if you don’t even fully BELIEVE that person can be trusted completely? Or maybe it’s the fact that God knows you have a problem with your anger and the moment you and your boo have your first disagreement, you will flip ALL the way out…so he’s taking the time to teach you how to work through that! Or maybe its the fact that you don’t properly know how to guard your heart and protect your purity! Or MAYBE, even though you ACT confident, you are extremely insecure and you don’t even feel like you deserve Gods best so you date to fill those voids! Whatever the case may be, GOD knows when we’re ready! HE knows whether we need deep inner healing or not before we get into a relationship with our mates! HE knows whether our perspective on love is tainted! The bottom line is that HE KNOWS and we just really don’t lol Once you come to the conclusion that HE knows and you don’t, your life will get even better!!
My perspective concerning love used to be tainted by hurt, bitterness, doubt, and insecurity until God really began to heal my heart and place people in my life who were really good at loving me! God EVEN placed a couple men in my life to teach me how to love! NO, they were not placed in my life for me to date or marry them, but they were placed there for me to learn to trust again and to know that every man isn’t out to treat me like crap and/or have sex with me. Maybe that relationship you’re in isn’t working out because God didn’t bring them in your life for you to fall in love with them…. he brought them in your life to teach you what the love of God looks like with no hidden agendas! There ARE good men and women out there ya’ll! Ask God to give you fresh and new perspective concerning love! Ask him to teach you what love looks like! He LOVES showing us what his love looks like!!
Prayer (Feel free to pray this out loud):
God, I thank you for your love! Thank you that through you, I AM ENOUGH! I thank you for helping me realize that being single is not a punishment but a beautiful season of my life that I should be enjoying! Thank you for not hiding love FROM me but FOR me! Thank you for helping me protect my heart, body, spirit, and mind from things I may not be able to see, but that YOU see because you are the beginning and the end! Thank you for helping me to trust in YOUR timing! You know what you are doing and I release myself from the unknown! I put all of my faith and trust in you concerning my love life from this point on! I will not compare my love life with anyone else’s, I will not wish I were someone else, and I will not hate on anyone else’s happiness! I rejoice for those who are happily in romantic relationships and married!! Thank you for writing my love story God! Help me to continue trusting you! In Jesus name, Amen!!
Remember, Gods not punishing you! He’s not hiding love and romance FROM you, he’s hiding it FOR you <3
Be The Standard,