Holiness OVER Horniness

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When I was 16 years old I began dating a guy who I REALLY liked! He was FINE, smelled good, on the basketball team, & was even a Christian! I thought I had hit the jackpot! lol We dated for 8 months & did EVERYTHING sexual except have actual intercourse! (Which is CRAZY because I told him before we started dating that I was a virgin and wasn’t having intercourse until I was married!) The more time went on, the more I walked away from God in my dedication to him! Before dating this guy, I would spend HOURS in Gods presence reading my bible, writing worship songs & sermons, & growing with him!
After dating for 8 months, this guy I was so in “love” with told me that he loved me, but he couldn’t stay with me any more unless we had sex because he couldn’t take it anymore! At first I was like well BYE! Lol Then because of my emotions and my LACK OF GOD & ,a strong relationship with my father, I caved in! It was on a Saturday! I told my mom I was going to the library but in reality, I was going to meet my then boyfriend at the library to go and have sex! I didn’t know my worth SO much so… I ended up settling for having sex for the very first time on the ground behind a building on top of coat jackets! I could feel Gods sadness as I proceeded with it all too! A few months later, after going down a VERY wrong path of lust filled with porn, masturbation, & tons of sex with my then boyfriend; God totally changed my life through a series of events!
Since then, I’ve NEVER been the same nor had sex again! I’ve been celibate for 9 years now!! I haven’t dated a man in a few years either! Some people ask me WHY haven’t you had sex in that long? WHY haven’t you been in a relationship in a few years? I am happy with my relationship with God & with the journey he has me on! He has taught me how to guard my heart & to get ALL of my voids filled by HIM alone! I don’t have an urge to watch porn, masturbate, and/or have sex! I don’t have an urge to date men just because I’m alone and everyone else around me is getting in relationships & married! God & I are ROCK SOLID!! So when The Lord spoke to me to create this shirt for my clothing line, I was like say what now? Lol but I remembered MY testimony & knew I HAD to do it! I’m not the only one with a testimony of fornication to purity! Slavery in sin to freedom in Christ! So when you wear this shirt with me, remember where God has brought YOU from &, DAILY, keep choosing HOLINESS over HORNINESS!!! ‪#‎BeTheStandard‬

Prayer:
God, help me to be the standard in my own life! Help me to be who you’ve created me to be and to not live my life based on my emotions and my flesh! I honor you with my life and my body papa God!! I thank you for helping me to stay pure and live a life that honors you!!! I choose HOLINESS in every situation and I love you!! Amen

Click here to order a Holiness OVER horniness shirt!

Hidden FOR love

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“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.” (Proverbs 25:2 NIV)

Have you ever been on a “TREASURE HUNT?” A treasure hunt is one of many different types of games which can have one or more players who try to find hidden articles, locations or places by using a series of clues. When I was younger, I loved playing this game because I knew that the person hiding the articles weren’t hiding them FROM me, they were hiding them FOR me to find! If you and I just be completely honest, I can almost guarantee you that we’ve BOTH had times when we were SINGLE and looking at all of the people in relationships, engaged, or married, wondering, “God!! WHEN is it going to be MY turn?” I’ll be honest and say that I have TOTALLY had those thoughts before!! On days like Valentine’s Day and during the holidays, being single is made CRYSTAL CLEAR!! LOL In this blog, i’m going to give you!! 3 reasons why, I believe, God hides love FOR us! I know it can be tough sometimes to not compare your LACK of a love life to someone else’s or to not question God concerning your heart, so that’s why I wrote this blog just for you!! I wrote it as a reminder that if you could take a journey into your future, you would SOON realize that God was never hiding love and romance FROM you, he was hiding it FOR you!! He was protecting you and your purity & helping you properly guard your heart above all things!! So relax because YOU, my dear, are being hidden FOR love!!

Reason ONE:We have to learn to love ourselves as God loves us first

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” (Mark 12:30, 31 NLT)

It’s SO important for us to love ourselves!

When you DON’T love yourself, you attract people who don’t love themselves either into your life. God values our hearts. Before we can try learning someone else’s heart and how to love THEM, we have to learn OUR own heart and how to love ourselves how God loves US! No, we don’t have to be perfect when we get married but we should, at least, know how to love ourselves! I do believe marriage is a life long lesson of learning to love; but if we still have tons of trust issues, insecurities, & don’t have an intimate relationship with God in the BEGINNING, that will effect our relationship and marriage in the LONGRUN!

“Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way:” (Lamentations 3:31-33 MSG)

During my teenage years, I didn’t know how to really love myself as God does! I was trying to find love in empty promises, sex, masturbation, wrong friends, secular music, and anything else that unhealthily filled my voids. After breaking up with my boyfriend in high-school, I became that person who was ALWAYS like, “UGH God!!! WHY AM I ALWAYS SINGLE?” I literally felt like God was punishing me for years and I would cry and get SOOOO angry with him; and with just life in general because I couldn’t understand why I was STILL single! I couldn’t understand why I didn’t have the luxury of having a significant other like everyone else because I was truly living for God and WITH him! I was reading my bible every chance I could get, I LOVED spending HOURS with him, I was writing songs to him, stopped hanging with the wrong people, was leading worship at my school, was preaching here and there, was prophesying to my classmates, and being super used by God…. WHY THE HECK WAS I STILL SINGLE?!? haha I’m laughing writing that because it’s so funny how we think that because we DO things for God, he HAS to do what we say and give us the desires of our heart IMMEDIATELY!!! Welp, I learned that’s NOT how it goes!! God was not punishing me! He doesn’t delight in making our lives hard! God wasn’t hiding love FROM me, he was hiding it FOR me! I was NOT ready to be in a romantic relationship and GOD knew that! What I REALLY needed was the love of GOD to completely fill my heart and every void, not a relationship! Have you ever gotten into a relationship and after a few months, it starts to go way left and you don’t even know why? That’s probably because you are trying to get the needs, only GOD can meet, met by that person!

I truly believe that God anoints our husband/wife to love us specifically how we NEED to be loved! I know for me, the blessed man whom God has chosen to love me has to be REALLY anointed and special lol I know a lot of times, if I would’ve just listened to the holyspirit and not entered into that void-filling relationship, I would’ve saved myself a WHOLE bunch of hurt, rejection, bitterness, trust issues, and all that jazz! Maybe you are single because God is protecting you from a bad situation! The amazing thing about papa God is that he can see WAY down the road of our lives! He IS the beginning and the end! He knows the day we’re going to get in that relationship with the man/woman of our dreams because he WROTE it lol and he knows the time and day when we are going to marry them! Focus on learning to love yourself FIRST and let God completely fill you up before trying to learn to love your “neighbor.” Go after God with no distractions and before you know it, your significant other will be seeking God with all of their heart right beside you!

Reason TWO: It’s just not time

One of my FAVORITE verses that has really helped me to rest in God concerning my love life is:

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” (Song of Songs 2:7 NLT)

I LOVE that verse because there have been so many times in my life where I THOUGHT I was ready to awaken my love with someone by getting into a romantic relationship with them and the holyspirit was like, ” Uhhh NO! Pump the brakes boo!!” LOL I like to think of awakening love before it’s time like this:

Imagine that you’ve prepared to bake a cake! You’ve mixed the ingredients together, poured it into the cake pan, and placed it in the oven. A person who is trying to awaken love before it’s time is like taking an un-baked cake out of the oven before it’s finished cooking! Eating that cake before it’s done cooking could possibly make you sick and it could just be flat out DISGUSTING! I don’t know about ya’ll but I’ve awakened love before it’s time PLENTY of times and It ALWAYS ended up DISGUISTING and making my emotions sick! OH but baby when you let that cake cook…how GOOD and delicious is THAT?!?!!! It’s SO enjoyable and yummy!! Just like our love lives will be!!

You have to know that YOU ARE ENOUGH!! I know for me, I used to struggle with thoughts such as, “Am I not in a relationship because I’m ugly? or fat?” “What can I change in my appearance that will make guys more attracted to me because it seems like NO ONE wants to be with me?” Often times, God keeps you covered so the WRONG people can’t get to you! He shields you from future hurt! He protects you from a hot mess situation you can’t see forming in the beginning! You ARE enough! ALWAYS be completely yourself so that the person God has for you can fall in love with the REAL you! The imperfect you! The you that’s still growing!! Just rememember, it’s not necessarily about if you’re doing something wrong or not, it’s probably just NOT the right time for you to be in a romantic relationship and married! The time WILL come though! So enjoy this single seaon of your life!! Stay strong and rooted in God!

Reason THREE: Your perspective concerning love may be tainted & need deep inner healing

When I was flying back home from Texas last week, I was amazed by how much smaller things seemed to look the higher we climbed!! My perspective of how BIG things were changed in just a few minutes time! I realized that where I was PHYSICALLY had a lot to do with my perspective concerning things! Where we are in our lives emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually directly affect our perspective in our lives! LADIES, if your father wasn’t really there for you in your life and/or knew how to love you, your family, and/or your mom properly, you have a good chance of growing up with the perspective that whatever man you court/marry is going to be the same way; and you will actually end up accepting that reality, no matter how much you don’t want to, until God truly becomes your father and shows you what true love is. FELLAS, if you have a mom who may have given you up for adoption, or just flat out didn’t really care about having a relationship with you when you were younger, and didn’t really care about you; there’s a good chance that you’ve built up walls by now towards all women and believe that the woman whom you court/marry won’t really care about you, will leave you, and that she cannot be fully trusted.

Think about it, why would God bring you your husband/wife if you don’t even fully BELIEVE that person can be trusted completely? Or maybe it’s the fact that God knows you have a problem with your anger and the moment you and your boo have your first disagreement, you will flip ALL the way out…so he’s taking the time to teach you how to work through that! Or maybe its the fact that you don’t properly know how to guard your heart and protect your purity! Or MAYBE, even though you ACT confident, you are extremely insecure and you don’t even feel like you deserve Gods best so you date to fill those voids! Whatever the case may be, GOD knows when we’re ready! HE knows whether we need deep inner healing or not before we get into a relationship with our mates! HE knows whether our perspective on love is tainted! The bottom line is that HE KNOWS and we just really don’t lol Once you come to the conclusion that HE knows and you don’t, your life will get even better!!

My perspective concerning love used to be tainted by hurt, bitterness, doubt, and insecurity until God really began to heal my heart and place people in my life who were really good at loving me! God EVEN placed a couple men in my life to teach me how to love! NO, they were not placed in my life for me to date or marry them, but they were placed there for me to learn to trust again and to know that every man isn’t out to treat me like crap and/or have sex with me. Maybe that relationship you’re in isn’t working out because God didn’t bring them in your life for you to fall in love with them…. he brought them in your life to teach you what the love of God looks like with no hidden agendas! There ARE good men and women out there ya’ll! Ask God to give you fresh and new perspective concerning love! Ask him to teach you what love looks like! He LOVES showing us what his love looks like!!

Prayer (Feel free to pray this out loud):

God, I thank you for your love! Thank you that through you, I AM ENOUGH! I thank you for helping me realize that being single is not a punishment but a beautiful season of my life that I should be enjoying! Thank you for not hiding love FROM me but FOR me! Thank you for helping me protect my heart, body, spirit, and mind from things I may not be able to see, but that YOU see because you are the beginning and the end! Thank you for helping me to trust in YOUR timing! You know what you are doing and I release myself from the unknown! I put all of my faith and trust in you concerning my love life from this point on! I will not compare my love life with anyone else’s, I will not wish I were someone else, and I will not hate on anyone else’s happiness! I rejoice for those who are happily in romantic relationships and married!! Thank you for writing my love story God! Help me to continue trusting you! In Jesus name, Amen!!

Remember, Gods not punishing you! He’s not hiding love and romance FROM you, he’s hiding it FOR you <3

Be The Standard,

Ashlee Harris

PERFECTLY imperfect

“But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48 NLT)

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It was a regular, EARLY, morning and I was around 6 or 7 years old & half asleep!! I woke up & went straight to the bathroom! After using the restroom, I sat there and just leaned my head back for some crazy reason! Immediately, I started screaming & woke my parents up because the back of my hair was on FIRE!! (This is your moment to laugh & not feel bad! Lol) Yes honey, my hair was on FIRE! My mom was up & had lit a candle, put it in the bathroom, & I didn’t see it! I stood in the doorway of the bathroom & my dad put the fire out in my hair with his bare hands! I remember looking at his hands & they were so black! (I mean he’s ALREADY black lol, but they were BLACK!) I stood there thinking “I’m so glad that fire didn’t travel all the way up my head & burn my face!” God really works wonders, because I didn’t even have to go to the ER or anything!! I didn’t go to school that day, of course, & since my godmother is an amazing hair stylist, we went to her house! I remember her touching the back of my hair and it was literally ALL ashes!! I saw all of the ashes laying on the floor! I looked in the mirror & felt like I was stuck in a bad dream!! I didn’t know that God was going to take me on a journey of loving ME…and I’m so glad he did!!

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BEAUTY FOR ASHES

Since that day, I was always insecure about my hair! The insecurity would seem to decrease every year but, nevertheless, it was ALWAYS there! On October 17th of this year, I did something I hadn’t done since I was a pre-teen; I WORE MY OWN HAIR!!! It was ALL NATURAL honey, no weave or anything!! The feedback I received from people that day absolutely blew me away! The crazy thing is I had a dream a couple years ago & I saw my hair EXACTLY how it is when I wear it curly & I knew in my dream that it would be a season of favor and so many blessings!! WOW!! Before I chose to go all natural, I felt God speak to my heart and he brought SO much peace to me! I felt like wearing MY hair was something I NEEDED to do in order for me to go to the next level in my life! The thought of me wearing MY hair scared me; I’m not even going to lie! lol My little sister had been wearing her hair in bantu knots all summer and God suggested that I should wear my hair like that as well! So, I did!! Wearing my natural hair has changed my life! I used to be SOOO dependent on WEAVES!! I wore them to cover up! I wore them because they were comfortable!! I wore them because they made me feel sexy and secure!! I SOON realized that, GOD has created me SPECIFICALLY how I am and when I FULLY decided to live in that truth this year, I became a brand new woman! I actually feel like I BECAME Ashlee!! I felt like God literally introduced me to myself and I haven’t known myself, per se, all these years!! Let me make this clear, I am NOT against women wearing weaves!! LOL I’m actually going to get one put in soon because I don’t want to keep putting heat on my hair! Being ALL NATURAL is hard WORK!! Shoutout to all of you amazing ladies who twist, braid, and rock the natural look!! Ya’ll rock FORREAL lol

As mentioned above, the day the back of my hair burned off, it was literally in ASHES!! The day I decided to wear MY hair is the day that God restored me and healed me from that experience… he gave me beauty for my ashes!! We have to always remember that beauty is an inside job!! There are a lot of PRETTY girls walking around who are UGLY on the inside!! One of my favorite verses says,

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30 NIV)

LADIES: What good is it for us to be super beautiful on the OUTSIDE but can’t cook, clean, be successful, not have any vision or set goals for our life….and feeling like a hot mess walking on the INSIDE? One day, while spending time with God, he said to me, ” You’re going to take your body off one day!! You better make sure your SPIRIT looks good!!” Who you ARE is far more important than what you LOOK like!! Likes and followers are great but if the people are only liking and following you because you are advertising private parts on your body, you need to refocus, get with God, and let him make you whole!! God has turned my ashes into beauty and he will do the same for you if you give him a chance to!! God asks us to do scary things all the doggone time that push us out of our comfort zones but it’s ALL to help us be the best version of ourselves and to grow closer to him! Whether God asks you to stop wearing make-up for a while (which I’ve done before as well), stop wearing fake nails, stop wearing fake hair, etc… just do it! It’s all to help you be more confident and live the life he has planned for you!!

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“To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” (Isaiah 61:3 NKJV)

FREEDOM

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV)

Jesus is freedom. He is freedom in it’s purest form. When you are fully confident in God and in who he’s created you to be, you will experience Jesus…you will experience true freedom. Society tries to keep us bound by what we are NOT. We’re not skinny enough, we’re not sexy enough, we’re not rich enough, we’re not holy enough…but GOD says, “WHO YOU ARE IS ENOUGH!”

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Wow! I remember like yesterday a few years ago when I wasn’t feeling so great in who I am in God! I loved myself and I loved God, but I didn’t fully understand HIS love for ME! I was perfectly imperfect serving a perfect God who loves me PERFECTLY, but I didn’t fully grasp that! I was DOING a lot for God but I knew that he was teaching me to just BE! I sat down by myself, with some worship music on, in the middle of my room and God told me to stop everything I was doing. In that moment, he told me not to pray to him, read the bible, talk, or sing along to the worship music! He just told me to sit there with him! He then began to tell me, “Ashlee, if you NEVER do anything for me ever again and if you just sit here in the middle of your floor with me for the rest of your life, I’d still love you and that would be just enough for me!” It’s amazing how God loves us, simply, for who we ARE not for what we DO!! What we DO is like the icing on the cake!! We don’t have to perform to get Gods attention! We don’t have to be GREAT to receive his love! We don’t have to be perfect to know him! We can come to him, perfectly imperfect, and he will pour out his love into us in ways we couldn’t have imagined! It’s so important for us all to learn this deep down in the core of our being!!! He will ALWAYS love us!! We have been adopted into his royal family!! We are his and he is our father!! We have to stop the striving, stop trying to LOOK a certain way to people but in secret looking a completely different way, and just BE who God has created us to be!! Look yourself in the mirror, post it as your status, write it in your journal, say it to yourself out loud, whatever you have to do to truly believe this….say, “WHO I AM IS ENOUGH!!” Isn’t that freeing?!? Ahh I just love papa God!! I’ll never forget what Kris V. said a few years ago that has always stuck with me! He said, “We are human BEINGS not human DOINGS! Too much do- do stinks!!” LOL

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15 NIV)

I pray that while reading this you have been receiving a revelation of Gods love for you! I pray that you truly find freedom in God and rest in who you are! I pray that papa God helps us all get even hungrier for HIM and not the things of this world!! That we constantly keep in mind that it’s not about what we look like on our EXTERIOR, but about who we are in our INTERIOR!! Help us to not find our identity in things of little substance! Help us to always remember that whether we have a weave, fake nails, make-up on or not, we are still beautiful and full of your glory! Help us to prepare for our purpose and be who you have called us to be!! Free us from our anxious fears and from the opinoin of man! YOUR opinion is greater than any human opinion! You have adopted us, you have chosen us, and you have redeemed us!! Thank you for your love papa!!! We love you!!! Amen!!

Always remember,

We are perfectly imperfect serving a perfect God who loves us PERFECTLY❤️

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Be The Standard,

Ashlee Harris

Thanks for reading! If you would like to stay more connected with Be The Standard,

1. Go to Facebook and “like” the BTS page
2. Friend request me on Facebook! ( Ash Elisé)
3. Follow me on Instagram at “imashelise”
4. Email me at Bethestandard@aol.com

HELP!! I’m SINGLE during the holidays!!

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Are you single during the holidays???? Well, you probably ARE if you’re reading this huh?!? LOL If you are, the peer pressure of being in a romantic relationship during this season might be getting to you! If I be honest, I’VE even had moments during these last few weeks where I was like “Ummm God?!? When am I going to have that special someone to spend this season of my life with?” LOL I’m usually fine and I SUPER enjoy being single right now, but there’s just something about this season!! I had a good talk with one of my sisters in christ, Jennifer Lucy Tyler, & she helped to remind me of some things!! I’m excited to share them with you!! We can get so caught up in what we DON’T have sometimes that we miss out on the blessings we DO have pouring into our lives!! It’s important for us to be content in EVERY season of our lives…Single, married, pregnant, no kids, wealthy, broke, in the valley, on the mountain, and so forth… So, here are 5 important things I love to remember while being SINGLE during the holidays (Including Valentines Day & every other holiday) :

1) If God wanted you to be in a relationship and/or married right now, you would be! HIS TIMING IS PERFECT!!

“Oh, let me warn you… Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.” (Song of Solomon 3:5 MSG)

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2) BE CONTENT! Rest in your portion & believe that God has a love story written for you that is going to blow you away when it’s time!!

I used to be SO anxious to get married!! I was like one of the most impatient people on earth concerning that! It’s a life-changing thing when you can trust God with your heart and your love life! If we be honest, most of us don’t really trust God with our love life…we just hook up with people and THEN ask God to bless it; instead of waiting on him and the person he has specifically designed for us & enjoying that!! Wait on God & the marriage HE has planned for you because that’s ALREADY blessed & has his approval! Have you ever been in a relationship without Gods approval and blessing? It’s ROUGH lol It’s so much better do live life Gods way! We have to trust him with our heart and know that he WANTS us to be happy, in love, & blessed with the right person!!

“…for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content…” (Philippians 4:11 NKJV)

3) DON’T COMPARE your love life to anyone else’s!! Yes, this is the season where everyone likes to cuddle, everyone with the “TOUCH” love language needs some EXTRA prayer lol, & you feel like you just want that special someone to spend the holidays with!! It seems like everyone around you is hooking up, getting engaged, & getting married but STAY FOCUSED!! Some people are “together” during the holidays & are completely miserable lol; and Some are genuinely happy and in LOVE, but that shouldn’t make you feel all alone & emotional! Take a moment to be sad & have a little pity party, then move the heck on! Lol Ain’t nobody got time for THAT!!

“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life…” (1 Corinthians 7:17 MSG)

4) ENJOY YOUR LIFE!! There’s so many WONDERFUL things going on your life and you’ll constantly enjoy them if you stay focused on what God is doing instead of the fact that you’re not married! Count your blessings and don’t focus on what you don’t have! The enemy will do everything he can to stop you from fully enjoying your life!! When we focus on what’s NOT happening, we rob ourselves of Gods joy and peace!! We have unlimited access to Gods joy, but we’ll miss it complaining about what he’s not doing for us!! You’re SINGLE for a reason; figure out what that reason is and rest in God!! Keep growing into the man/woman HE wants you to be!!

Instead of me focusing on the fact that i’m not married, I am trusting God with my love life and ENJOYING LIFE!! I am running a successful health and wellness business, running my ministry “Be The Standard,” motivating others, getting healthier everyday, networking, growing my income so I don’t have to be broke when I get married, planning on buying my first home next year, getting completely out of debt, & working on ME!! Sometimes I laugh because I’m enjoying this so much!! I often make a joke to my mom & say, “I don’t even know if I have the TIME to be in a relationship right now!” lol STAY FOCUSED and ENJOY YOUR LIFE!!

“So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.” (Philippians 3:15,16 MSG)

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5) KEEP PREPARING YOURSELF!! If you are single right now, it’s probably crossed your mind how you really wanted to have someone special to spend this season and the rest of your life with! Just think of this as another year to work on YOURSELF & prepare for the man/woman God has for you!! Don’t give into the hype!! Pursue God daily and let him continually make you whole!! Be SO in love with God and content in your marital status, that you don’t even care whether you get married or stay single forever…as long as you’re in love with God and living in his perfect will!! If you’re single, overweight, unhealthy, broke, in debt insecure, etc… PLEASE take this time to GET YOUR LIFE!! lol seriously!!! WHY get married when you’re overweight, unhealthy, broke, etc.. when you can use this time of singleness to prepare yourself? Esther PREPARED for her king & was granted everything she had prayed/asked for! A lot of us just want God to microwave our love life, blessings, success, and everything else!! LIFE IS A PROCESS BOO!! Stop asking God for your KING/QUEEN without taking the time to PREPARE for him/her!! Seek God and get whole!!

“… His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness. His ruling authority will grow, and there’ll be no limits to the wholeness he brings.” (Isaiah 9:6 MSG)

I pray that this blog has helped you to refocus and rest in your heart concerning your future!! God really does have some AMAZING things planned for you…just keep living and being the awesome person that you are!! In DUE SEASON, you’ll be able to help someone else during these times!! I pray that the PEACE of God flood your heart and that his presence rest on you! I pray a covering over your mind and that you continue to trust God with your life!! This is a WONDERFUL season of life for you!! Guard your purity and continue to honor God with your life!!

Be The Standard,

Ashlee Harris

Thanks for reading! If you would like to stay more connected with Be The Standard,

1. Go to Facebook and “like” the BTS page
2. Friend request me on Facebook! ( Ash Elisé)
3. Follow me on Instagram at “imashelise”
4. Email me at Bethestandard@aol.com

Guests In The Temple

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You are a home… A royal palace…A temple. Your body is not just a body, it’s where God dwells. Our temple is where his spirit lives; it’s where he chooses to be. For generations, people have been allowing others to come in and make their home in their temples; they’ve allowed random people to come and go as they please, but I believe that God wants his temple back. Contrary to popular belief, there are only 2 people that belong inside of you… That is God & your husband/wife; Everyone else is a violation. It’s time for us to stop allowing “GUESTS IN THE TEMPLE.”

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WHO’S INSIDE OF YOU?

Everyday, we have decisions to make. One of the BIGGEST decisions we have to make is who we allow inside of us. To many, this isn’t a hard decision at all but to those who know their worth, it’s a conscious decision that has to be made daily!

When I first began dating my ex-boyfriend in high school, he respected my standards. I told him that I did not have sex before marriage and that I believed in God. Well, as the months progressed, we began having oral sex which I KNEW was wrong but because I felt like I was in love I was like “Aww what the heck!” ( SIN will cause you to lower your standards of holiness won’t it? ). About a month later he started pressuring me to have sex with him and APPARENTLY I didn’t love myself enough to leave that relationship and honor God with my body! Shortly after that, we had intercourse. In that moment, all of his feelings, spirits, & all the people he’d ever had soul ties with entered into me. I had guests in my temple. I kept inviting them all in too. I would sneak and lie just to keep him in my temple until the day God rescued me! I began to act like him and hate my parents because the SPIRIT inside of him hated my parents. I began to lie and sneak more because the SPIRIT that had entered into me was a liar!

Let me be honest with you, when you have sex, you’re not just having sex with that ONE person, EVERY person they’ve ever had intercourse with enters into you! Have you ever had sex with someone and feel like you’re going crazy the following week? You SHOULD feel crazy lol you probably have like 100 other PEOPLE inside of you that shouldn’t be there! Random “Guests” in your temple will leave you with residue, leave your temple dirty, leave their junk laying around in you, make you feel “less than”, invite other random guests and their baggage in, and before you know it, the holyspirit will be standing on the outside looking in because you’ve allowed everyone else to come in and make their home inside of you.
Our purity is a treasure. If we give our jewels away to every man/woman we “fall in love with” or who gives us the slightest bit of attention, and in reality feeding insecurity and low self worth, then what’s left in our treasure chest for our husband/wife? Why stand before the love of your life and get married “EMPTY” on your wedding day? It’s just not worth it! Who have you or are you currently allowing inside of you? Are ya’ll married? Are you constantly kicking GOD out and inviting SIN in? Who’s inside of you?

I want to encourage you to know that at ANY moment, God can come in and clean you up! I had so much darkness inside of me but God came in and purified me. He taught me how to love myself and how to value my purity. He taught me that I am a treasure and my sex is a treasure
as well that only my HUSBAND should have access to! “The most embarrassing thing that brought so much shame, became the most beautiful thing.” Let God in😊

“Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone.” (2 Corinthians 5:21 MSG)

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YOU ARE A PRIVILEGE

YOU are a privilege! It’s so important to know that! Your EMOTIONS are a privilege, your HEART is a privilege, your TIME is a privilege, your MIND is a privilege, your BODY is a privilege, and your SEX is a privilege!! When you don’t know that YOU are a privilege, you will allow ANYBODY and EVERYBODY who gives you attention, & who feeds your flesh, into your temple. We have all seen and probably personally experienced this at least more than once in our lives!! Two people begin to like each other but in that “liking” stage….. Oh boy! They began to give away their privileges WAY too soon!

I had a talk with someone who shared with me how they began going on dates with someone and they both knew they liked each other but it ended up a hot mess and super unhealthy because they began kissing, and touching, & getting emotionally involved!! I then asked the person, “Did ya’ll at LEAST ever make a commitment to be with each other and honor God with your bodies & your relationship?” The person replied, “No!” Uhh say WHAT now? LOL Call me old fashioned, but ASHLEE ain’t about to be giving away ANYTHING (concerning my emotions, mind, body, and heart) without a few things first! Holding MY hand is a privilege! Kissing ME is a privilege!! TUH!!! Know me! LOL haha ok

Here’s a personal list of standards I have for a man before even THINKING about giving any of my privileges away to a man. If this inspires you to make your own personal list of standards, go for it! He has to:

•Be in complete love with God
• Have a real relationship with God for HIMSELF
•Honor God with his body, emotions, mind, & everything he is
•Believe in no sex before marriage
•Know his identity in God
•Know how to protect my purity as well a his and guard his heart as well as mine
•Be fine lol
•Be a MAN not a grown boy & gentlemen
•Have his own stream of income
•Have plans, vision, and goals for his life
•Be living in and pursuing his purpose
•Have integrity & character at all times
•Dress well
•Know how to healthily and effectively communicate
•Have healthy friends in his life

I’m not saying I have this list posted on my wall and I check things off when I start liking a guy or he begins to like me, but I do have standards and know that I deserve Gods very best; You should too!! Until I have time to fully see all of these things and have peace from God concerning our courtship, he won’t have access to my treasures. I refuse to give away what’s reserved for my husband. I’m not saying you should be boring and have walls of defense up, lol, but don’t be so “EASY!” ( That goes for men as well) !!

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”(Proverbs 4:23 NLT)

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WHEN LUST APPEARS

Sex begins in our minds. I used to be addicted to pornography and the sprit of lust had a very open door in my life! It was hard for me to say no to lust and YES to purity; but I kept up the fight! It is so important for us to constantly renew our minds; that’s how you stay transformed!

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:1, 2 NIV)

I remember the moments when I would literally feel the spirit of lust trying to tempt me and tell me to masturbate & watch pornography & God would be fighting for me! I could literally feel my spirit fighting against my flesh! There were SO many times where my flesh won and I would cry and cry and feel so ashamed but God would always comfort me and say, ” Ashlee, I love you! Next time, we’ll win!” WHEW I’m teary eyed writing this because I remember thinking will I EVER overcome this? If you are struggling with the spirit of lust and you just can’t seem to say no to it… There is HOPE for you! I don’t struggle with pornography addiction or masturbation AT ALL and I’m so glad about it!! I don’t ever deal with the spirit of lust anymore because I have renewed my mind and the renewing of my MIND has helped me to transform my LIFE!

“A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.” (Proverbs 25:28 MSG)

Ok, so let’s get even MORE real! Yay, you ready? Lol KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS YOU TO OPEN THE DOOR TO THE SPIRIT OF LUST WHEN IT APPEARS! Just because its there doesn’t mean you have to entertain it! Feed your SPIRIT, not your FLESH! Here are some things that used to trigger the spirit of lust to appear in my life:

•Being at home alone
•Knowing websites that were pornographic
•Talking with certain guys
•Watching certain things on tv
•Thinking too long about something lustful in my mind
• Not keeping my SPIRIT fed
•Believing the excuse “I’m not having intercourse therefore masturbation is ok!”
• Being around people who had the spirit of lust
•Boredom
•Stress
•Looking up sexual things online then trying to erase the evidence and hide it

Just because you may not be having sex PHYSICALLY with someone before marriage, having full-blown sex with them in your MIND is still as bad! God always knows what’s going on in our hearts and minds! That’s why he said to think on THESE things!! Things that are PURE is apart of THESE things!! If you are trying to live a life of purity after living a life full of lust, just know that it’s a process! You may not stop having sex or stop being bothered by the spirit of lust overnight, but eventually, YOU WILL OVERCOME THAT THANG!!! When lust appears, you will know that it can’t bother you because your life is full of purity and you honor GOD above your FLESH!

A PRAYER FROM YOUR HEART

Pray this out loud:

God, I need you! I need your help! I thank you for loving me even when I didn’t have enough strength to love myself! Thank you for being patient with me and never giving up on me! Please help me to stay pure in my mind and honor you with my body! Today, I am kicking out every guest I’ve allowed in my temple!! I apologize for replacing you with the things my flesh desired Lord! Thank you for creating a new heart, a new mind, a new spirit, and a new BODY for me!! I repent of all of my sins and I make the commitment to only allow you into my temple until my husband/wife is living here. Thank your for your presence and thank you that there’s NO condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus! Help me to be whole and live a holy life: help me to realize who I am and know my worth in you! In Jesus name, Amen!

You are an overcomer and You CAN do this! Let God satisfy you alone! Place your purity in his hands and let his love cover you!

Be The Standard,

Ash Elisé

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Thanks for reading! If you would like to stay more connected with Be The Standard,

1. Go to Facebook and “like” the BTS page
2. Friend request me on Facebook! ( Ash Elisé)
3. Follow me on Instagram at “imashelise”
4. Email me at Bethestandard@aol.com

Forgiveness

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Forgiveness…..

One of the greatest human struggles on earth. Yes it’s a righteous and a Godly characteristic to possess, yet it remains to be the most uncommon thread in many situations. I’ve essentially deemed forgiveness “difficult”, primarily because part of our human make-up consists of pride and ego. Generally, some of our most minor and major decisions can be driven by both ego and pride. Neither requesting forgiveness nor offering a forgiving hand is sought after enough in salvation. Often times we examine our lives in various areas, looking for God’s approval, yet our heart’s suffer from lack of forgiveness toward people we were commanded to not only love, but also forgive….whether we agree with them or not…or like them or not. Forgiveness is not contingent upon how we FEEL. It’s quite oxymoronic to expect God to forgive us when we struggle so hard with forgiving ourselves FIRST, and another next. God lends his expertise in situations in which we lack possession of human control. In lots of instances, we overcompensate for lack of sincerity in our forgiving. All God really wants from us is to perform as He’s ultimately created us to do.

We make things so much more difficult than He even intended because we constantly allow feelings, ego and pride to drive us down a hardcore pathway of selfishness….sadly, that’s all NOT forgiving is.

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I recently dealt with a situation in which I heavily struggled with forgiveness. That situation didn’t make me “unsaved” but it showed me the area in which God was still molding me in. Because I “felt” that my choices were justified, I didn’t see a need to further examine the entirety of what was happening (pride). Yet, did that make me right? No. It made me just as wrong as anyone else. It really took God to show me something specific for me to puzzle things together. I had to understand the FULL benefit of forgiveness before it would ever make any sense to me. Knowing that forgiveness is not just for other people but for us as well, to move forward, can probably be the hugest wake up call ever. Grudging is never that serious!! It just makes us talk negatively every time something remotely close arises. God really just wants us to be whole and a wholesome spirit is divided into pieces when we can not find forgiveness within ourselves. One thing is for sure, God has a unique way of “fixing” us right in the middle of error. Conviction is a humbling reminder of why we have the ability to rethink things and get them right….with God, ourselves and others too. It took several months of God pricking my heart for me to really sit and examine what I was up against. I was fighting denial because I wouldn’t just forgive in my heart. And I don’t mean just a shallow verbal apology, but a spiritual decision to let it go and free myself from being dragged around; by the weight of not forgiving.

Honestly, most cases are so trivial but because we “feel” a certain way or have influences around us, we make retarded decisions that we’ll regret later lol. That’s no shade to me, you or anyone else, it’s just the reality of human-nature and the sufferings of being created imperfectly. Yet, that’s also no excuse to do what’s biblically and morally incorrect. Don’t be deceived, forgiveness is definitely a two way street, but it also has a starting point. Waiting for another person to make their move may not always be the BEST move. God’s called us to be leaders. Leaders take risks!! Even ones that typically don’t please our flesh. 😊
God has been too good for us to pass up an open opportunity to forgive….big or small!!! One thing that He will do is make an executive decision in our lives when we don’t do what’s already expected of us! It’s not always easy to do what’s “right”, but God would never require something of us that he has not the power to do himself.

In 1 Corinthians 10, God has already told us that he’d never put more on us than we can bare. That’s a simple and common verse yet it’s common because it’s averagely relatable. It can be applicable to every area of life in which we feel like we can’t overcome or move beyond. God has already made the way of escape. He’s also declared our ability to move spiritual mountains…so why is it that in times like these, we forget those same scriptures that we quote when we’re stressed out over an expensive light bill? Lol. The mountain of forgiveness that we may struggle with, holds no more value than that bill. Being able to forgive, gives you the keys to be free! When you can forgive, you can move past negativity and the expectancy of others; for you to be bitter or salty. Freeing yourself with forgiveness just gives God the okay to elevate you and move you ahead to the next task assigned. Our walks with God are based on the most simple game-plan but we have to think big and stop complicating it by over analyzing what we think should be. God moves ahead of our thoughts, ahead of our intentions. Which is why there is no reason to NOT trust that he can give us the power to truly forgive and in return ask for forgiveness.

…The Holy Spirit will always remind us and encourage us to do the right things. It’s primarily up to us to make the choices; start with forgiveness.😊

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Raevyn D. Anthony is the founder/visionary of “Think Big”. Launched January 2013 “ThinkBIG” was presented through a monthly young adult bible study setting, lead by Raevyn and two close friends. Their mission is to set a platform for young adults to be able to think and live outside the limits of life. They
are doing this by encouraging those young people to unlock their sole purpose in Christ. A vast majority of young adults have become victims of mediocrity. ThinkBIG was created to help them raise the bar in every area of life. The ThinkBIG team’s prayers are that these young adults confidently walk away with the ability to think and LIVE beyond the sunset of the past. By helping them locate their strength within, the expectation is for them to grasp mental freedom in God and walk into each of their destined futures. The theme scripture for ThinkBIG is found in Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) “For I know the plans I have for you, says The Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.“
“My team and I REALLY just want to take on the world with this vision, face adversity head on and do
the work with all of everything in us. Only walking in peace and operating in faith. All for God’s glory. Aligning clear optimistic thoughts with heavenly goals, we can remove the limits!!! ThinkBIG is the vehicle to helping young people locate their purpose. The future holds so much for all of us, but it’s up to our generation to embrace our potential and do something different. What better way to ensure that than with BIG thoughts!!!!”

Stay connected with Raevyn on Instagram: @43_Rae & on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/raevynda

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I’m ready to change my life: How to have success in every area of your life

“God helps those who help themselves.” – Benjamin Franklin

Are you ready to change your life? Well, I’m pretty sure you are if you’re reading this! LOL Talking about changing your life is awesome but you begin to see results when your faith meets ACTION! In this blog, I will be sharing 5 steps I personally took over the course of my life change that have helped me reach my goals and see success in my life! I encourage you to write out these steps & start putting them into action! You deserve to live the AMAZING life God has planned for you!

Here are 5 simple steps that will help you become the YOU you were created to be:

STEP ONE: CHANGE YOUR MIND

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Decide that you are ready to change your life MENTALLY before anything else. When you make your mind up ,MENTALLY, that you are going to change your life, NOTHING and/or NO ONE can stop your progress, not even YOURSELF!

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” (Proverbs 23:7 NKJV)

We have all been given the power by God to change our minds! We can all choose to THINK the best about ourselves or to think the worst! We can choose to think that we were created to change the world or we can condition our minds to believe that it’s ok to be normal! Have you been frustrated because of the way you are and you can’t seem to change it no matter how hard you try? What are you thinking in your heart about yourself, your life, people, and God? As you think in your heart, so you will be! When I chose to begin THINKING that I deserve the BEST, that I was created for a purpose, that I have a great future, that I CAN be healthy in spirit,soul, & body, God has great plans for me, etc… That’s when my life truly began to change! Stop and ask yourself, what am I thinking in my heart concerning ME & see if it lines up with what God says about you! If it doesn’t, CHANGE IT!

STEP TWO: SET YOUR GOALS

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“Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.” (Habakkuk 2:2, 3 NKJV)

Setting your goals in life and writing Gods vision for your life is a VERY important key to being successful! Without vision, we perish! When you write out your goals, declare the promises of God over your life, & have vision, your life will truly become even MORE powerful and amazing!! You have to know your WHY in life! When you know WHY you decided to change your life & pursue your dreams, when It gets tough, you won’t be moved! You will be able to stand firm because your WHY will be greater than what you see!

When I wake up everyday, I try and devote my day to The Lord and acknowledge the holyspirit! I also choose to BELIEVE that God has a super great day planned for me no matter how yesterday may have panned out! I also like to write my goals for the day concerning the different areas of my life! For example: I write out goals concerning my health and plan my meals for the day! The second goals I make are for my business & all the people I plan on helping during that day! I also set my goals for be the standard and for my future! I keep my goals SET BEFORE ME so I can read them on the run! I KNOW my why! I am passionate about what I do and who I am and I know it’s an honor to be ME! I also encourage you to begin working on your dream board for the year if you haven’t already! You can take the time right now to write out your goals for this week and ask the holyspirit to help you know your WHY! Declare great things over your life & don’t be afraid to be amazing!

STEP THREE: MAKE A COMMITMENT

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“So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.” (Philippians 3:15, 16 MSG)

I applaud you for making it to this step!! We can THINK it & PLAN it but if we don’t stay COMMITTED to it, it will not succeed! How many times have you started something and not finished it? Whether it be a diet( which I do NOT believe in & encourage), reading through the bible in a year, choosing to stop cussing people out in traffic, stop smoking, etc… Whatever it is.. Do you know how to stay committed to your new way of life? When you have self control and learn the importance of commitment, your life will change even more for the better! I learned how to commit when I was 17 years old. I was sexually active with my, then, boyfriend and The Lord changed my life! I COMMITTED to never having sex again until my wedding day with my husband! Have I been horny and WANTED to have sex again since then, yes; But Honestly, only when I first decided to Change my life and devote my body to The Lord! For the past few years I don’t even THINK about having sex outside of marriage! Sin isn’t appealing to me! God has helped me to stay committed to him and now I’m living a WONDERFUL life! Make a conscious decision to commit & don’t quit or waver! Stand firm, stand strong, & stay focused!!

STEP FOUR: BE CONSISTENT

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“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”
― Anthony Robbins

One of the GREATEST lessons I’ve learned in the past year is to BE CONSISTENT! Three of the MAIN things we should all learn in life is how to be consistent with:
1. GOD
2. OURSELVES
3. OTHERS
My amazing bestfriend & my mom really helped me to learn this! I would say things like, “Well this person isn’t doing this and that person isn’t doing that!” Or there would be times where I felt my consistency was in vain and my bestfriend & mom would just tell me “it doesn’t matter who is or isn’t doing what in your life! You keep doing what YOU’RE supposed to do and BE CONSISTENT!” Even when other people are inconsistent with you, BE CONSISTENT! Consistency speaks WAY louder than words! Consistency helps to mature you, balance you, & help you become the amazing person you were created to be! Whether it concerns your family, friends, health, dreams, vision, etc… Whatever it may be, learn the importance of CONSISTENCY! It will change your life.

STEP FIVE: ENJOY YOUR PROGRESS

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“You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How joyful and prosperous you will be!” (Psalms 128:2 NLT)

It’s perfectly ok to enjoy your progress in life! Actually, God promises us a joyful and prosperous life and TELLS us that we will enjoy the fruit of our labor! How AWESOME is that?! I love it! Sometimes, we can get so caught up in reaching our goals, being successful, & receiving the prize that we forgot to enjoy our progress! It’s important to STOP sometimes and take a moment to enjoy how far you’ve come! If you’ve been eating healthy & you’ve lost a considerable amount of weight, ENJOY YOUR PROGRESS! If you’ve been working hard to achieve your dreams and see them come to past, when they begin to manifest in your life, ENJOY YOUR PROGRESS!!! Whatever it is, learn to ENJOY YOUR PROGRESS! Even if no one else congratulates you, CELEBRATE YOURSELF & celebrate others success in life also! You have permission to celebrate your life and enjoy it! Stay humble and let God promote you in due season! Your hard word and long nights will not be in vain!

Now that you’ve read through these steps, I encourage you to write them all down and DO THEM! Don’t just TALK about it, BE about it!!! Don’t make ANY excuses about why something can’t and won’t work! With God NOTHING is impossible!

Here are the steps one more time in order:

1) CHANGE YOUR MIND
2) SET YOUR GOALS
3) MAKE A COMMITMENT
4) BE CONSISTENT
5) ENJOY YOUR PROGRESS

You have what It takes to change your life and with Gods help, NOTHING is impossible! I declare a prosperous life over you and that your dreams will come to pass! I declare that you will have hope and joy! I pray for even more motivation and courage to be poured into your heart from God! Amen!

Be The Standard,

Ash Elisé

If you are ready to change your life and need help, contact me at thehealthyteam@aol.com & I’d love to help get you started! You can also find me on Facebook as: ASH ELISÉ and on Instagram as: imashelise

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